The problem with doing things on purpose is that it feels fake.
If I have to schedule in my calendar to text my sister, that doesn’t feel as genuine as just texting her out of the blue because I love her.
If I have to plan three successive activities with someone I just met – first, dinner at our house; second, a hiking trip; third, coffee on Saturday morning – all in the hopes that we’ll get to know each other better and actually be friends, it feels like I’m manipulating the situation.
I won’t give a third example. You get the idea.
When we do something on purpose, it doesn’t feel natural.
Okay, I will give a third example.
You’ll often hear that the first, gut response to a difficult question is the most authentic.
The problem is that none of that is true. It just feels that way.
If I naturally respond a certain way, that’s just how I naturally respond. On the other hand, I purposely respond a certain way, that’s because I’ve chosen to respond that way.
Decisions are more real, more in tune with who we really are, than impulse reactions.
The text I schedule in my calendar on purpose is more who I actually am.
The activity I plan out in advance on purpose is more who I actually am.
The response I give after considering it on purpose is more who I actually am.
But in our culture, the way we typically understand it, reactions feel more real than decisions on purpose.
