5 foods I wouldn't eat after anyone

For those who don’t know, I grew up in a family of seven. Not huge, but not your average household for sure.

Not all seven person families do this, but I sure did – I learned to eat after other people. Not everyone, for sure. But in general, I don’t really care… family or not.

But… but there are some foods I don’t do. What do you think? Am I just way too picky?

5. Spaghetti (but I’ll snag your meatballs)

Actually, in some cases (many in fact), I would eat spaghetti after someone. I draw the line, though, when the spaghetti’s been “fork groped.” You know, like when the sauce looks nothing like the way it was served.

4. Soup

Something about the liquids kills this for me. If I’m close, related or trying to be, I’d go for it. But otherwise, I’d avoid it.

Backwash (big time) is too possible.

3. Fried eggs

Eggs are the most disgusting mainstream food in the world. And don’t even talk to me about fish sperm or whatever… eggs are the worst. Seriously, unborn babies? This stuff is sick.

But don’t get me wrong, I love ’em. Mmm… little sea salt, little pepper, little cayenne pepper – delicious. But once that yolk’s broken and the yellow’s running all over your plate, sorry, I’m not going for it.

(As an aside, I will eat your fried rice even if it has a little yellow on it… I like my rice.)

2. Burrito guts

The best burrito’s often break on the bottom due to the grease overload. So what, you’re just going to waste that meat and beans and lettuce and guac (etc.)?

This is where you might think, Ah, man, I wouldn’t eat that anyway. Well, I do, but it’s got to be my own. I’ll finish your burrito for you but not the droppings on your plate.

1. Cereal

I almost gave the burrito guts first place, but on some rare occasion, I could see myself grabbing some chips and scooping up that slop. It’s so tasty even if it does look like a pig’s dinner.

If I were starving (literally) or if it were a cultural custom and I was trying to be polite, I might struggle through an exception. Otherwise, under no circumstance would I ever eat cereal after someone else.

And by cereal, I’m not talking dry cereal (I’ll eat your kids old Cheerios sitting raw on the table), and I’m not talking hot cereal (I’ll eat your grits or perhaps even your oatmeal). What I’m talking about are your Shredded Mini Wheats sopping in milk. What I’m talking about are your Grape Nuts after even a few minutes of submersion. I’m not touching that.

I’m picky like that, I guess.

So what about you? Would you ever eat after someone else? Where do you draw the line?

6 Comments

  1. I am in a family with 6 kids, which is too many for me, but we survive.

    Idk all this food tho! It sorta grosses me out to eat ANYTHING after its been on someones plate. Especially eggs. Nasty nasty eggs.

    Funny post!

  2. hahaha Sorry ’bout that. I was actually eating some soup as I wrote this.

    -Marshall Jones Jr.

  3. Yes, I have bad memories of eggs. They seemed to always come up in cafeteria conversations… and never in a good way.

    -Marshall Jones Jr.

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