[Awkward pause.]
With all my talk about becoming the most marriable man (except for yesterday’s left field post about handwriting), you’d think I’d be all about getting married. But actually…
Actually, the reason (at least one of the reasons) I’m interested in this theme for this year is that I’ve not been interested in the past. And I mean really not interested.
I grew up the eldest of three brothers and a sister. My sister is 11 years younger than I am – one of my brothers is 17 years younger. My other brothers are spread between them. What does that mean? It means I’ve been around kids and family my whole life. I’ve changed clothes , tied shoes, fed bananas as long as I can remember.
I love my family. I don’t feel like I’ve had to do a lot of work. I don’t feel trapped having to watch out for them, teach them, read to them, or anything else (really). But…
I’m not romanced by the idea of a family. I’m totally unprepared to have one of my own, but in many ways I’ve been through it.
I want to make a comparison between a mother who hasn’t had children verses a mother who’s had four. Both mothers still love that next child, but for the mother who’s had four, the love is based on past experiences and the reality of family life. I want to make that comparison, but I know it’s inaccurate. I’m no where near that. Still, it’s what comes to mind.
Am I just complaining? Yeah, I feel like I am. But I’m also just getting this out there.
- I don’t want to start a family of my own… yet.
- I don’t want to settle for a lame job to provide for a wife… yet.
- I don’t want to settle at all. I want to do what I want to do, whenever I want to do it. I don’t want to give up independence without ever actually having it… yet.
[The selfishness reminds me of my first post.]
That’s where I’m at. I’m in love with romance but not with marriage.
Do I want to get married? No, and for me that’s the hardest part about becoming the most marriable man. That’s why it’s such a long road.
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