Commandment #1: Thou shalt not make any major additions to thy wardrobe since the tender age of 12.
Commandment #2: Thou shalt love the color yellow with all thy wardrobe.
Commandment #3: Thou shalt wear white, V-neck shirts during the summer. Thy whiteness shalt amaze thy friends.
Commandment #4: Thou shalt wear striped, long sleeve shirts and baseball T’s during the cooler seasons and on weekends. Thy sleeves shalt be rolled up most of the time.
Commandment #5: Thou shalt never be without brown sunglasses, lest thy head fail to have proper covering indoors.
Commandment #6: Thou shalt shod thy feet with sandals at all costs, particularly the same pare of Birkenstocks for many, many years.
Commandment #7: The primary clothing of thy legs shalt be jeans and jeans shalt be the primary clothing of thy legs. Thou must wear thy jeans for seven years… for they shall be holey.
Commandment #8: Thy undergarments shalt remain private.
Commandment #9: Thou shalt own and rotate wearing at least 15 different jackets. Thou must never pass them on or throw them out.
Commandment #10: Thou shalt break all other style commandments to wear cardigans before the years of thy age exceed 30.
“So let it be written, so let it be done.”
