From observation rather than experience, this is what I think distinguishes mature people from the rest of us:
- They suspend judgment of people. We like to automatically evaluate: Do I want to be like that person? Should I believe this? Instead, mature people spend time observing other people trying to understand them. They don’t immediately evaluate whether or not they want to copy them. They just focus on their motives, why they do what they do and why they are what they are.
- They decide on purpose. Everyone makes decisions, but the most popular choice is indifference. Not many of us make decisions on purpose, but I think mature people do. Mature people can answer the questions, Why do you do that? Why do you believe that? They know their purpose, and their purpose drives their decisions.
- They take responsibility. The mature ones are the ones always thinking, I could do something about this. I should do something about this. It’s me doing it or no one. And then they actually follow through with it. Perhaps most remarkable, mature people like to take responsibility even if they seem to have no control over the situation. They live with the mindset regardless of the situation.
- They live for other people. They cut the selfishness. They dedicate their lives to making other people better off. Sometimes that means giving. Other times that means living a life that’s encouraging. Either way, their lives are oriented around others because they’ve more interested in them than themselves. (Actually, I think this fourth one is what maturity is all about. The first three are just the build up for actually pulling off this last one.)
“Maturity is that time when the mirrors in our mind turn to windows and instead of seeing the reflection of ourselves we see others.” -Unknown
But what else would you add?
Good thoughts here, Marshall ~ you’re not alone in discovering the ‘build up’ as you put it. Maturity doesn’t just arrive, does it. Check it out:
Colossians 3:12-13
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
I think the ‘list’ in Colossians is a build-up to maturity. Starting with a tenderheart and ending it with acceptance.
So, I would add acceptance. My experience has taught me that acceptance is powerful and in no way relates to condoning a behavior, but instead acts as a release valve for both parties. Ever find yourself, maybe in the past, pent up over someone’s behavior and attitude? It grates on you and you find it difficult to have a worthwhile relationship with that person. What happens when you let go and accept that person for who he/she is? God accepts us right where we are. It’s amazingly, miraculously powerful what happens to relationships when we accept each other.
Thanks, Marshall, for the thoughts on maturity this morning. It’s my hope to continue striving toward this, for His glory, each day.
Thank you for the excellent comment and for adding your thoughts. I like how all of these seem to point back to the nature and personality of God.
-Marshall Jones Jr.