When you eat a jar of peanut butter a day…

When you eat a jar of peanut butter a day, you begin to hate – and hate is a strong word, so I use it carefully – you begin to hate peanut butter. At that point, you have 25 jars left.

When you eat a jar of peanut butter a day, a hard boiled egg with nothing on it can taste like a feast.

When you eat a jar of peanut butter a day, you get used to the stares as you walk down the street with your spoon.

When you eat jar of peanut butter a day, you even get used to smelling like peanut butter all the time… but no one else does.

When you eat a jar of peanut butter a day, you need more sleep because your body needs more time to process the extra fat in your system. And by process, I mean store.

When you eat a jar of peanut butter a day, you start to count your days by jars, not days, because jars, not days, are what you’re trying to survive.

When you eat a jar of peanut butter a day, you’re always depressed in the morning because it means the beginning of a new jar.

When you eat a jar of peanut butter a day, you’re also always depressed in the evening because you haven’t finished your jar yet, which means you’ll have to stay up late finishing what you hate.

When you eat a jar of peanut butter a day, food stops sounding appealing.

When you eat a jar of peanut butter a day, you feel bloated… and sodium overdose.

When you eat a jar of peanut butter a day, you notice all those peanut allergies you never thought you had, like acne and itchiness and muscle stiffness… or maybe again, that’s just sodium overdose.

When you eat a jar of peanut butter a day, the color and texture of what comes out during your bathroom breaks look just like what goes in during your lunch breaks.

When you eat a jar of peanut butter a day, YOU NEED HELP!

Your body changes, your mind changes, and – most of all – the way you think about peanut butter forever changes. But it’s totally awesome, when you eat a jar of peanut butter a day.

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