About a year ago, I mentioned that my self-discipline had dwindled. As I mentioned in that post, there are definitely a bunch of factors influencing this. And it’s pretty slippery, like it’s not just one thing I can fix.
To sum it up the simplest way, though, it’s tenacity, or the lack of tenacity on my part.
Take Marshallogue as an easy and obvious example. When I first started, I posted every day, no matter what. I kept that up for over 100 posts in a row. And then I missed one. That first miss wasn’t bad – I started up again the next day. But I lost the streak, so next time I really, really felt like missing, I did again.
Now a couple years later, I have tons of reasons for missing.
- Ah, I need sleep.
- Ah, I need to work.
- Ah, I need to eat.
- Ah, I need to finish talking… or just not finish at all.
- Ah, I just don’t feel like it.
It’s gotten pretty bad, pretty easy for me to find reason not to post. I’ve lost that tenacity, the tenacity that kept me up for three hours past midnight just staring at a blank screen before coming up with something to publish.
I’ve told myself, “Ah, it’s okay. You’ll sleep or finish whatever you’re doing and write a better post later. You’ll make it up.”
But that’s not really how it works. It’s better to do something lousy than not do something magnificent. Pretty sure I’ve written about that before.
Marshallogue is kind of the least of my worries. What worries me is my secret project. I love it, but I keep putting off this important next step. I need that tenacity to make the big move.