Responding to proxy questions or proxy qualities

Proxy questions and proxy qualities can be annoying once you notice them, especially if they’re directed at you, questions to you or qualities wanted in you.

Does age really matter in a marriage? Do degrees really matter for jobs?

Well, by definition, no, if age is a proxy, then in and of itself, it doesn’t matter. Same with degrees for jobs. Same with any other kind of proxy like this. That’s what makes them proxies.

Instead of getting frustrated about this, though – an all too common response of mine – perhaps a better response would be to realize the purpose beneath them and then drill down to those core questions or qualities.

Almost every question or quality is (or can be) a proxy for something deeper.