Profile: Zach Jones (aka "Z")

Zachari Lord Jones is about 17 years younger than I am. Before he was born, my parents met with their obstetrician and my college advisers in the same week. After he was born, multiple people asked me if he was mine.

Now I say, “Yes, he’s my brother.”

How I met Zach Jones

I was at the hospital when Zach was born. I remember my dad coming out wearing this goofy getup (smock, hat, and shoe coverings). Zach was so tiny, smaller than I’d anticipated. Supposedly, though, he was pretty tall long for his age.

“Come meet Zachari Lord Jones,” my dad said. That was the first I’d heard what his name was actually going to be.

Who Zach Jones is

  • My parent’s fifth and final (?) kid.
  • My baby brother.

What Zach likes

  • Parks
  • Charlie Brown movies
  • Listening to books, Jazz, and Bon Jovi.
  • Cheese wraps and cinnamon wraps

One fact about Zach Jones

Zachari didn’t have a name until right before he was born. We wanted his middle name to be “Lord” after my dad’s Grandpa Lord who was one of about 500 POWs rescued in the Raid at Cabanatuan.

The first name was trickier. For the rest of the brothers, we had some set requirements. Each name was in alphabetical order according to birth order: Marshall, Theodore, William. That left X, Y, or Z names.

But we had another requirement as well. The last letter of our first names was the same as the first letter of our middle names: Marshall Lee, Theodore Elliot, William Martin. That meant we needed a boy’s first name that started with X, Y, or Z and ended with L.

The only name that fit those requirements was “Yul” (as in Brynner). Wow.

Oh well, we eventually gave up on the requirements part. So we had Zachary.

But even Zachary presented a problem. At the time, a friend of ours, Paul McGarry, had lent us the first season of Lost in Space on DVD. As you might remember, one of the characters, the whiniest one in fact, was named Zachary Smith. We weren’t going to name our kid Zachary Jones. It was just too close.

We thought of going with something biblical like Zachariah, but we didn’t totally like that either.

So that’s why I didn’t know what his name was going to be until my dad walked out with him. That’s when I found out they’d dropped the “ah” and left him as “Zachari.” I like it.

One reason I like Zach Jones

He goes from mad to glad in about five seconds. I only go the other way that fast.

One memory I have of Zach Jones

Somehow, who knows how, he listened to his older brothers playing Bon Jovi songs in the basement. So he learned to sing them.

“Oh, oh… we’re halfway there… oh, oh… livin’ on a prairie…” -Zach singing “Living on a Prayer”

“Shot to da heart, and you’re to blame… you give wuv… a bad name… bad name…” -Zach singing “You Give Love a Bad Name”

Heck, he even learned a My Chemical Romance song:

“I’m naaaaaaah ohhhhh-kaaaaaaay… I’m not whow-kay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-aaaay… I’m not okaaaaaaaaa-aaaaay-aaaay… you wear me out… you wear me out…” -Zach singing “I’m Not Okay (I promise)”

We have failed as brothers. (Thankfully, he learned the radio versions.)

Zach Jones in one word

Bum.

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