Profile: William Jones (aka "Will-I-Am")

William Martin Jones does excellent voice impersonations. But you may never hear them because he’s shy about them in front of most people. See, if the expectations are high, it’s not as funny.

Instead, he jokes about how amazing he is (200 pushups in a row, six-pack abs, and that dimple to die for). He’d be pretty annoying if he weren’t actually so amazing.

Oh, but he doesn’t like hugs [period].

How I met William Jones

I woke up one morning to find that my parents had left the apartment. Ted was still sleeping, but my grandparents were in the living room. I was a bit confused.

Later, I learned that Poppy had driven Momma, who was supposed to have a home birth, to a hospital in the middle of the night for an emergency c-section. Evidently, it had been pretty life-threatening, and the hospital staff had given my parents a lot of problems because…

  1. It was an emergency, so they wanted to do everything by the book.
  2. It was a university hospital, so they tried to do everything by the book.

Normally, “by the book” might be good, but in this case, it meant my parents, particularly my dad, had no rights or part in the decisions that were being made.

Anyway, that’s how William arrived. I met him at the hospital a couple hours after I woke up. He was clean and healthy by then.

Who William Jones is

  • Friendly, neighborhood, lawn-care extraordinaire.
  • Baseball player.
  • My parents’ third child.
  • My brother.

What William Jones likes

  • Exercising (with his “spear, sword, and javelin” <<inside joke).
  • His Gibson SG.
  • Seafood, especially crab legs, and medium-rare steak.

One fact about William Jones

He’s had at least two concussions and broken three arms, but he learned to ride a bicycle (no training wheels) when he was like two years old.

Keepin’ up with the Joneses.

One reason I like William Jones

He’s a harder worker than I am. While I’m trying to figure out how to get out of doing something, he’s just doing it. Not wrong, just different. :>)

He’ll get the job done. Like he says, “Where there’s a me, there’s a way.”

One memory I have of William Jones

We just finished a meal at Steak ‘n Shake. William sees some of those little, white rocks decorating the side of the restaurant. They look like diamonds to him.

He starts picking them up and throwing them out into the busy street in front of the restaurant. He wondered what would happen if a car hit one of the rocks while driving full speed. Maybe it would fly way up in the air.

Needless to say, my dad – the voice of reason – stopped him. For years, William didn’t understand what the problem was.

William Jones in one word

Goodwilled.

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