Profile: Melissa Jones (aka "GraMelissa")

Melissa (Giles) Jones used to tell me, “See this finger? See this thumb? See this fist? You better run.” Matter of fact, she still says that every once in a while.

If she were to write a book, she’d write about her exploits in the restaurant world. If she were in a book, she’d go by GraMelissa… and I’d write about all the crazy things we did and talked about in the restaurant world, just like I am now.

And I’d probably mention the time my brother told her our dog had died. Of course the dog hadn’t died, but she believed my brother. “See this finger…”

How I met Melissa Jones

GraMelissa was there when I was born… or shortly after. She had big hair then. I didn’t.

Who Melissa Jones is

  • Dean (Grandpa) Jones’s wife
  • My dad’s step-mother
  • My grandma

What Melissa Jones likes

  • Christmas decorations, particularly Christmas trees
  • Cooking stew – or hot dogs and Mac-n-Cheese – for her grandkids.
  • Wii (Who knew?)

One fact about Melissa Jones

She likes being scared.

She likes scary movies. She likes roller coasters. She wanted to go skydiving.

That’s probably why my brother, Ted, one day decided to open his car door as we pulled away from a parking lot. Ted was in the back seat… five or six years old, I guess. Grandma was riding shotgun, I think.

She was scared. I’m pretty sure she liked didn’t like that.

One reason I like Melissa Jones

I think the main reason is her name: “GraMelissa.” Grandma + her first name, Melissa. I mean, how cool is that?

In case you didn’t know, “GraMelissa” is synonymous with “putting up with grandkids, feeding them, and hounding hotel employees when their pay-per-view movies don’t work.” And that’s just one reason I like her.

One memory I have of Melissa Jones

Antagonizing her.

She and my grandpa would pick up my brothers and I for a weekend. Sometimes, they’d take us to their house. Other times, they’d rent a couple hotel rooms and let us swim in the pool. Lots of fun… for us.

For them, perhaps not so much. I remember my brothers rolling the car windows up and down, up and down until my grandparents locked them. With the windows tightly shut, we’d sing “This Is A Song That Never Ends” or “I Know A Song That Gets On Everybody’s Nerves.” They never ended, and they got on everybody’s nerves.

In the pool, I remember specifically splashing Grandma when she was completely dry. She’d say, “Stop it, guys. I’m serious.”

We’d think, Look at Grandma, trying to be serious, and continue splashing her.

Even in the hot tub… we didn’t like the bubbles because they were too noisy and annoying, but if we found out Grandma didn’t like them, we’d purposely turn them on just to bug her.

Crazy stuff. Not sure why she kept inviting us back. Maybe she was the crazy one.

Thankfully, we’re all nice boys now. :)

Melissa Jones in one word

GraMelissa.

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