Opening a box

In some ways, I feel like I’ve opened a box I can never again see unopened. I feel that in many ways, actually.

The classic case involves moving to a foreign country, maybe even traveling to a few of them. The traveler travels and travels and finally finds that what he’s searching for has been at home all along:

  • People who love him, family and friends
  • A quiet life of reflection
  • Normalcy

What I’ve done, though – I’ve created a life on the other side of the world. What would have allowed for satisfaction upon my return will now only force a departure from the world here.

In other words, I now have two homes, home and home away from home. Now if I leave the one, the other suffers. Or if I leave the other, the one suffers.

I can’t win either way. And I can never return to who I was. That’s the way it feels.

It’s like opening a box of wisdom. With one peek inside, you realize how much you don’t know. You realize you’re wiser than you’ve ever been before but dumber than you ever imagined.

And you can never rewind to naivety, never return to just one home.

|