I never want to fall in love

Somewhere we latched onto the idea that doing something on purpose is bad. Perhaps we learned to think this way from all the fake advertisements that purposely manipulate for the wrong reasons.

Whatever the reason we’ve accepted the idea, though, I reject it. I want to be responsible for everything: my actions, my thoughts, my feelings, my life, my reality.

When I let something or someone else happen to me (instead of the other way around), I’ve become the victim.

Falling in love makes me a victim of love. Sounds sweet, like some cheesy romance, but in real life, it’s immature.

I never want to fall in love because falling in love means I could just as easily – just as randomly – fall out of love. It means I’m out of control. Call me a control freak, but I want my love to be stronger than that. I don’t want it to come and go on the whim of each passing obsession.

I want to choose to be in love.

That’s much more powerful than being a victim of love, which means it’s a far better gift to give. Which would you rather receive, my love because I’ve been forced to give it or my love because I’ve chosen to give it?

Which seems more fake?

I know for myself, I want the best. I want someone to choose to love me. Shouldn’t I also want to give away the best?