Adoption fund [EXPERIMENT] – Week 3

Three weeks since announcing the adoption fund, and I’m still learning new lessons from it each day. I’ve written about some of the questions that have been raised. I’ll continue to do that as they come up or as I find a way to write about them.

Hands down, the best part about this experiment has been the conversations. I anticipated this a little bit, but I had no idea how much I’d enjoy it and how much extra energy it would give me.

As I mentioned before, part of the reason I want to adopt is to open up the conversation about it. Even just three weeks into this, I’ve already seen an increased excitement and certainly increased awareness around the topic.

That, and after making the announcement, I started hearing from all these friends who have secretly been interested in adoption, perhaps just as a distant consideration, or know someone involved in the process right now. It reminds me of the responses I received after announcing my move to Korea.

I love that.

What I don’t love so much are some of the reactions that have crept up more often over the past week or so from friends I don’t know as well. In the beginning, only people really close to me heard about this plan. They were the ones already reading this site, already following me on Facebook, already hanging out with me in person.

Now the circle’s getting larger. Now more people I don’t know that well know about my goal. And that brings with it a new type of problem…

It hurts more when people say they wish me the best of luck but clearly they don’t than when people come out and say what they think.

I think I feel this way because in both cases I realize they’re not supporting my decision but in the second case I realize they’re not even treating me as a friend. In the second case, they’re treating me like an acquaintance, which betrays more than just their support of my decision.

Instead of feeling bad about it, though, I’m trying to learn a lesson from this, a lesson in honesty. People can tell when something’s fake. Honesty earns way more trust and respect than false wishes. This doesn’t mean just ripping into people – it just means not lying. Don’t say, “Well, I hope it works out for you,” if that’s not really what you’re hoping.

“If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.” That’s what Thumper’s father told him. The extension of that, though, is, “If you can’t say something true, don’t say somethin’ nice at all.”

Anyway, it’s been a good lesson for me. I think I do the wrong thing, just saying something nice even if it’s not entirely true, too often.

Changing paces somewhat, the other lesson this week…

People do sign up to buy stuff.

It’s not always that many people, and it’s not always that fast. But it does work.

This past week, I soft-launched my first product here. It’s not going to hit any best-seller lists anytime soon, but it’s still interesting to watch as friends actually pay to support what I’m doing. I’m grateful for that.

This upcoming week promises to be another action-packed week. I’m looking forward to it, looking forward to watching it unfold. And once again, thank you for joining me.